Finale

So did doing yoga for 360 straight days transform me forever?

I suppose I am transformed.  But like I said in a recent post, yoga is a process.  As is transformation.  I did not wake up one morning during this journey and say, “Holy crap, I’ve transformed!”  It is a quiet, gradual transformation that—as I’ve come to realize in my year-end reflections—is hard to quantify.  I’ve reached the end of my 360 days of Adho Mukha Svanasana, but there is no end to transformation.  I expect I’ll keep transforming in subtle ways as I take my yoga practice into 2011.

And because I'm an over-achiever, I'm going to go ahead and turn this into a full 365-day journey.  Then, this Thursday, January 6, I will NOT do yoga. In fact, I probably won't do yoga for several days. "Why not?" you may ask. It isn't because I'm sick of yoga. I’m having Lasik surgery to correct my vision. Post-surgery, the doctor told me to avoid up and down movements or going upside down for a couple of days.  Also, no sweating for a week or two. When it comes to vision, a girl’s gotta follow the doctor’s orders. After 30 years of wearing some sort of corrective lenses, I'm really excited about waking up and seeing things clearly in the morning, and never popping a contact lens into my eyes ever again. 

I am also little nervous.  About the surgery, of course, but also about the end of my year of yoga.  Driving to and from Idaho last week, I listened to the audio book of The Golden Compass from Phillip Pullman's His Dark Materials trilogy. Subsequently, when I now think about my impending break from daily yoga practice, I envision it will feel like when the General Oblation Board severs the bond between a child and her daemon in The Golden Compass.  It makes my heart hurt a little to even think about it.  My yoga practice is that important a part of me.

Daemons Pantalaimon and Sophonax are never very far away from their humans, Lyra and Farder Coram

But it will only be a temporary break. While I won't berate myself for not doing yoga every single day, I plan to continue to make it a part of my days.  You can too.  If you’re interested, check out Yoga Journal’s 21-day Yoga Challenge for some structure and support. 

So besides surgery, what’s next for me now that I’ve successfully completed my yoga 360?  I really liked the focus and structure the yoga challenge brought to my life, so I’ve come up with a new challenge—more accurately, challenges—for 2011.  I’ll be blogging about that here.  Follow me on this new adventure, or better yet, join me!

While I will continue to blog here about yoga periodically, I've put together a credits roll for my 360 days of Adho Mukha Svanasana; please check it out here.

Namaste!

• Butterfly metamorphosis image from Maria Merian's Dissertatio de Generatione et Metamorphosibus Insectorum Surinamensium, The Hague, 1726 edition.

• Image of actors Tom Courtenay and Dakota Blue Richards from The Golden Compass, New Line Cinemas, 2007, dir. Chris Weitz.

More year-end reflections: sleep, drink, organization, and mindfulness!

Some more reflections on the questions I asked last January now that my year of yoga has come full circle.  I asked, by doing yoga every day for 360 days, will I:

• Sleep better? Make smarter decisions about what I eat and drink?

On days when I’ve done yoga late, in the 7 to 9 PM window, I think it has helped me get relaxed and sleep ready.  Otherwise, I can’t really say how much it has helped my overall quality/quantity of sleep.  Likewise, I think that I’ve made smarter decisions about what to eat during the day before my yoga practice, but not necessarily afterwards.  Finally, drink. The ~two times I’ve practiced with a hangover this year were not fun. But whether I do yoga or not, I really dislike hangovers and always drink in moderation to avoid them.

Funny or not, this is the quality of my hangover yoga practice. (image registered trademark of YogiBarra)

That said, yoga has served as a great indicator to me of my body’s needs in terms of sleep, food, and drink.  When I get light-headed during the up and downs of sun salutations, that is a great indication that I’m deficient in one of these three necessities, likely hydration.  When my endurance is particularly low, I’m short on rest and/or fuel. And my balance poses REALLY suffer when I’m short on sleep.  So, while the activity of yoga hasn’t changed my patterns of sleeping, eating, and drinking, yoga has made me take notice of where I’m neglecting my body’s needs, and to act accordingly to remedy that situation.

• Be more organized with my time and space? Keep my apartment cleaner so I have room for my yoga mat and to do handstand at the wall? Improve my focus and attention in other parts of my life?

not too shabby...

Why yes, my apartment in general has been more organized to accommodate my daily need for mat space.  And yes, my time has been more organized.  Putting in a physical activity like yoga or running into one’s days is a great organizational block around which to build other activities.  When to get up, when to eat breakfast, when to go running, when to shower, when to make my lunch, and when to head to the office—these things have been informed by my yoga practice.  And in turn, this has helped me focus better in other aspects of my life.  

• Be more mindful of others in my words and actions, even my thoughts? Be kinder to myself, love myself more, forgive myself for not being perfect?

There’s this expression you sometimes hear thrown out in yoga and meditation classes, “turning inward.”  It is true; there is a lot of getting in touch with yourself in yoga, and not always so much getting in touch with the world around you when on the mat.  Additionally, the act of blogging does breed a degree of narcissism.  But I do feel that my time on the mat—particularly when practicing in classes—often does facilitate more awareness of and empathy for the struggles of others, particularly in the physical realm. 

Yup, that's what empathy looks like.

There’s also an innate consideration that typically grows in the yogini the more she practices with others—more patience standing in line to put props back, an eagerness to scoot one’s mat over to make more space, a willingness to partner up with strangers and to spot them in poses in the most helpful way for their particular physical capabilities. I find this mindfulness lingers as I walk out of a yoga class into the “real” world.  Maybe not all day, but for a little while. 

I’ve already written about my mental state and self-esteem after my year of yoga here and here. 

• Levitate????

Aw, a girl can dream!

Namaste!

But can you bend into the shape of a pretzel yet?

(Note: After I finish this post, I'm going to change into my yoga togs for yoga practice #360.  Eeek!!!!)

A continuation of my reflections on some of the questions I asked upon beginning this 360 straight days of yoga practice.  I asked, will I:

• Master more challenging poses that we do once in awhile in yoga class and then don't return to again for several months, so that I never really feel like I've fully learned how to properly execute them? Poses like Bakasana? 

I did Bakasana in my home practice yesterday.  It is one of those poses that sometimes feels like second nature to get into. Then on other days, I feel totally befuddled about where to place my knees against my arms--it just feels not quite right, even if I'm placing the knees in the exact same place as I did the day before, when it felt easier than pie.

Anyway, I do feel like I am more capable and skilled with Bakasana, in general.  Some of the other challenge poses I've worked on in class and at home this year, however, I am a long, long way from comfortable.  Perhaps you remember this one:

Ah, good ole Eka Pada Galavasana... I quit working on this one because I was sick of looking like a battered woman.  The pressure of my foot against my arm gave me bruises that looked like someone had grabbed me really hard.  It wasn't such a big deal when the weather was cool outside, but when tank top weather arrived....  Also, my leg injury sort of put a hamper on this one.  Take-Away Lesson: You can't be Super Woman when you walk with a hobble.

• (Will I) Get my hamstrings to finally open up enough to straighten my legs all the way in Uttanasana or to touch my heels to the ground in Downward-Facing Dog?

My heels still do not touch the ground in Downward-Facing Dog.  Honestly, I never for a second thought they would.  That said, after warming up a little, they definitely get much CLOSER to the ground in Dog pose than they were a year ago.  On the other hand, once warmed up, I really can straighten my legs all the way in Uttanasana now.  I don't choose to very often, because I don't want to lock my knees, but I can do it. For whatever that's worth.

• Stand on one leg with my other foot up by my head without tipping over?

Why yes, I kind of can do this now.  Look!

Utthita Hasta Padangustasana

My foot is kind of by my head, right?  I can't hold this forever, I can't straighten my leg all the way, and the pose has room for lots of improvement in terms of alignment and grace, BUT I can hold it without tipping over.  Sometimes.

*     *     *

Overall, certain poses are easier now than last January, but my body resists other poses and movements just as much as it always has.  And there are probably poses that are harder for me now than they were a year ago, because of an injury this year or maybe I just haven't been practicing it for awhile.  

-Some poses that are easier: Uttanasana, Bakasana, Baddha Utthita Parsvakonasana, Utthita Hasta Padangustasana, Plank and Chaturanga Dandasana. (I used to HATE these last two poses.  Now I like them. A lot.) Oh and can't forget Ardha Chandrasana--I'm especially proud of my work with Half Moon, a perpetually difficult, painful pose for me!

-Some poses are more difficult now than a year ago: Utkatasana (this one is a be-otch when you haven't been practicing it much), Malasana a.k.a. squat-asana, pigeon pose, Eye of the Needle pose.  I used to LOVE Eye of the Needle, but it causes me a lot of pain on my right side at present, and my motion is quite limited.  

I wonder which of these poses will be easier or more challenging for me at the end of 2011.  The truth of the matter is: Yoga is a process.  There is no grand finale. Everyday presents different obstacles to match the body's capabilities in that moment on the mat.  Yesterday, Bakasana was easy for me.  It might not be easy when I do it today.  Mastery is not holding a pose perfectly day after day.  Mastery is the act of showing up on the mat,  attempting a pose to the best of one's abilities in that moment, and returning the next day to try again.

So many different ways one can bend a pretzel on any given day!

And now, I'm off to find out how my body wants to bend on this, my 360th straight day of yoga practice.  More later!  Namaste!

Day 348.

But sadly, I still don't look like this.

In this post, I continue to reflect on this list of questions I posed when I first began this project, 348 days ago.  I asked, after a year of daily yoga practice, will I:

• Grow a few centimeters in height?

Okay, so to assess whether I grew any in height, I'm employing a highly unscientific method of standing shoeless against a wall, attempting to draw a pencil line in the exact right place at the top of my head, and then using measuring tape to figure the distance from pencil mark to floor. This process is made all the more unscientific by the fact that I didn't measure myself at the beginning of the year.  On my driver's license, it says I'm 5 foot 6 inches tall, but the last time I got measured at the doctor's office proved that I am one of those people who round up to seem taller.  According to the doctor, I was more like 5 foot 5-1/2 inches tall.  ANYWAY, this morning, I measured myself as 5 foot 6-1/8 inches tall.  Hmmm.... Did my pencil mark aim too high?  Was I slouching at the doctor's office?  Or did I grow a little bit?  We'll never know for sure.

Nope, still too short for Splash Mountain!

I also asked, after a year of daily yoga practice, will I:

• Look different--be slimmer or have more muscle bulk?  Be stronger in my core? Be more stable in my pelvis? Have better posture/alignment? Develop those tiny muscles in my inner hips and the arches of my feet to protect my knees and to help stave off genetic physical ailments? Reduce the frequency of migraines? Improve my circulation? Achieve super healthy blood pressure readings?

Let me start by saying that this here body of mine has served me pretty well during my year of yoga. Yes, I've incurred some injuries. I'm happy to report that none of them have been incurred practicing yoga.  I can't put a value on how many injuries I may have avoided by practicing yoga or staved off "genetic physical ailments," but I know that stretching my limbs and building muscle tone protects me a lot when I do high impact aerobic activities, like running, and even doing little things like getting into my car from a funny angle. The body can get hurt in really small, ridiculous ways.  Trust me, I once re-sprained my ankle trying on a ski boot 

Has my body changed? Of course it has, the body is always changing.  Lately, I feel like my core is kind of weak, but it was super strong in June. It is winter after all, and my body and energy cycles just like the seasons. People have remarked on my fantastic posture over the year, but alignment and keeping my pelvis stabilized seem like things that need lifelong attention and continual adjustments.  I don't know if yoga has helped prevent any migraines, though gentle yoga has been soothing when I've had one.  Circulation?  Sure, while I'm actually practicing, but in general?  Who knows?  And my blood pressure readings, they were pretty dang healthy before this year began, and they still are.

So now for the million-dollar question: do I look different, slimmer or have more muscle bulk?  Honestly.... I think I look pretty much the same as I did last January. My clothing sizes haven't changed. My weight has fluctuated within the same 5-pound window all year. That said, my body has never been in as great shape as it has been at times this year.  Particularly in the spring and summer months.  I definitely am stronger than I was last December, even if my core is a little wimpy at present.

And here's the real triumph: I have never felt so secure with this body as is as I have this year.  And sexy.  This body of mine is strong and sexy and I'm so happy to live in it.  The time I spend every day doing yoga allows me to witness and appreciate my body, while it also puts me in touch with what my body needs and what it likes to keep it healthy and happy.  Even when my muscles burn like crazy from holding a challenging pose, yoga feels like the most incredible gift to my body. 

Maybe I do look different.  Maybe I do stand taller.  Maybe the incredible confidence and respect I've developed for my body on the inside has transformed how I appear on the outside, in ways that have nothing to do with slimness, muscle mass, or the number on the scale. 

Namaste!